Sunday, April 22, 2007

Why British Food Sucks - Reason 143

After being over here for for nearly 2 months, I have gotten accustomed to not having the best quality steaks over here. Therefore it was with some anticipation that I arrived at Gaucho Restaurant Thursday evening for a business dinner. Gaucho is a chain of Argentinian steak house that was recently crowned 'Best Steak Restaurant' in London by Time Out magazine.

Hearing of the proposed restaurant, I began to look up some of the reviews of this place. It was apparently one of 'the' places to go for steak in London.

Atmosphere:
RatingsRatings
Upon entering, I descended a wrought iron staircase into what used to be the wine cellar of the Mexican ambassador, but now resembles a Russian submarine crossed with a satanic nightclub. This certainly isn't a place to go for an intimate tête-à-tête. Conversation was almost impossible as the acoustics of the room meant that you were forced to yell to the person sitting merely 2 feet across from you.

Food:
have mercy
This place prides itself on its meat ("Argentinian ... from grass-fed cattle raised on the pampas"), so I why did the steak I ordered taste as though the cows had been raised on a diet of Pampers? My rare sirloin had neither the healthy marbling of fat nor the succulent texture I expect from top-quality meat. Any Morton's in the US is a place where you can get true grass-fed beef, not the borderline dog meat on the menu here.

The starters and side dishes were equally disappointing. The ceviche was a mess of tomato sauce and onions and had none of the subtle flavor of lime that that you expect. Also, any restaurant calling itself a reputable steakhouse that has French Fries on the menu should be avoided on principle alone.

Overall:
Dukes Uncle Jesse
What made me pleased to be here? Only the act of leaving and getting back to street level after an experience that had left me thoroughly feeling homesick.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

ignorant!

Anonymous said...

moron..

Anonymous said...

English/brittish food suck because it is very bland and boring without spice just like the majority of those people that like to live in that water logged country. Add some spice, sauces, something, the food is HORRIBLE.

Anonymous said...

I was living in London for about 7 years. My comments are British foods are really sucks. The worst in this Planet. I just don't really understand why they have bloody cold foods during the Winter period.

Anonymous said...

the only reason anyone's read this is because you pop up on google with a search for british food.

yeah, british food pretty much sucks. the shit you say about the people is just ignorant and stupid, though.

if your idea of fucking excitement and a life lived to it's fullest centers around whether you can get a spicy burrito with minimal effort, you're the one who's boring and bland.

think before you publish things, or continue making yourself look very stupid and petty. it's really up to you.

Unknown said...

Look at all these poms getting defensive about their food. Facts are though, it sucks. Can't change that. Don't try and turn it back on the people making the comments. British food SUCKS.

Unknown said...

Look at all these poms getting defensive about their food. Facts are though, it sucks. Can't change that. Don't try and turn it back on the people making the comments. British food SUCKS.

Joe said...

Yeah. Bad. Lived here for years. Some overheard comments?
'Oooh. Pineapple, tuna and sweetcorn pizza! Lovely!'
'Favorite food? Oooh, baked beans on toast!' (keep in mind they only have one variety of 'baked beans' and that is Heinz.)
Me, to waitress: Um, this isn't the bacon and brie baguette, this is something else.
Waitress: Ooh, sorry. (expectant look, like I was making her life miserable by her giving me the wrong sandwich)

Joe said...

My wife says, 'Of the ten most vile-tasting foods I've ever had the misfortune to put in my mouth, I think nine of them have been in Britain.'

Seen at the coffee shop: 'Bacon egg and cheese roll!' then underneath 'New! Now Try it hot!'

I think that says it all.